UNLESS someone like you....

...cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not. - Dr. Suess.

I picked this book up for a birthday party next week. Problem is, I want to keep it. And I want Jim Carrey to star in the movie.

signed, the willow

Banana & Beeswax

My obsession with bees this week continues. I do want you to go out and get a jar of this. Burt is not paying me for this endorsement. I mean it. I was desperately seeking some handcream that is not tested on animals and does not cost $100/oz. This was my option at the grocery store today and I'm so glad I chose it. It smells so delicious and has me craving banana flavoured Mojos now! Maybe the vegans won't approve, but I think the vegetarians will.

signed, the willow

I've said it before, it's in the eyes

Meet artist Rob MacInnis. I was fortunate enough to have a date with my treadmill and 55" of Sony this morning. So, I turned on Bravo and met the photography of Rob MacInnis. Be sure to click on Farm Families on his website. When you sit down with your hamburger in hand tonight, thick of those eyes and the soul behind those eyes. If you can't see it, you never will. I'll be sure to tell you that if you can't see it then your soul is made of tar and you're going to burn in hell, or a dark, dank place with bad country music and where B actors will perform for you all day and night while you listen to Liberace rap and rhyme. Have fun. Or you can at least think about that soul of the cow and understand the message here. Thank you Rob for giving these barnyard folk a chance to prove their existence in our world. They are fashion models after all and our consumption of domesticated animals, in many forms, is primitive at its best.

signed, the willow

p.s. obviously Rob did not take a photo of Bessie and I - it was Steve - and Bessie is not looking too impressed with my cavalier attitude!

Buzz Art

Lady of the Lake has been kind enough to email me this link to this lovely artist. I suppose I have all the more fondness for her, since she's from Winnipeg. And hey! I have lots of Prairie blood in me. Aganetha Dyck works in various mediums. Her most interesting has to be sculpting with the assistance of bees. My personal favourite are the Barbies that have been lovingly encased in beehives. Ladies and gentlemen, Aganetha Dyck.

signed, the willow

Tea Towel Support Group

All the women I know will appreciate this one.

To celebrate my newly renovated kitchen cabinets my mom sent me some new tea towels. You see, she tried to find black but with very little retail in my home town, she picked blue. It works. Sexy black doors. Look at them shining. The door handles are even reflected in the doors.

Here are 3 of the 4 towels.


And now, for the fourth.....

See that spot on the left? That would be my husband's chocolate fingerprint! Yes. Men, please stop using our pretty new tea towels as your personal napkins! Dammit! I visit IKEA on a regular basis and generally I get a pack of paper napkins. These paper napkins are for your fingers, mouths and NOSES! Yes, you heard me. Your schnozz does not belong on the tea towel or anything else in the kitchen! We have tissues for that. You can blow your nose in one and throw it in the green bin under the sink. You know the green bin? The one beside the black garbage, where you dump everything? First, I am going to start my Tea Towel Support Group and next I may just start my 'Family Members of People Who Steal Things from the Curb' Support Group.

signed, the willow

The 10% Challenge

I went to the local nursery today (not the nursery school, the one with the plants) and found a silver wreath there for $159.99. I thought to myself that maybe I could make it for under $10, but then I picked up *Mila* from school and we dashed off to IKEA for our $15 purchase: 2 tubs of 48 ornaments and a 30 m roll of ribbon. I used up some left over styrofoam for the base and voila, a wreath for $15. Lots of hot glue helps.

Your challenge this week, make anything for under 10% of the cost of your inspiration. If you need help with the math, just let me know.

signed, the willow

Smile with your eyes

Tyra Banks teaches her "Next Top Models" to smile with their eyes. This is something every child knows naturally how to do. We just lose that sense at some point in our childhood and it's gone forever.

signed, the willow

I love you even if you do think Dubya is cool

Where is this post going? It is my birthday today. And I hold off turning that new age until tonight at around 7:40 pm Central time. But, I will be asleep then and will never really see myself age. If it weren't for our mothers we wouldn't be here and our fathers rarely get acknowledgement for our existence either. But there are about 40 of us who wouldn't be here if it weren't for Gran.

She's my mother's mother and was born in Calgary, but lived in England, as well, as a youngster.

I like to think that my Gran is reading the crime report in the paper. But my cousin is probably making the news as he will be a mountie soon and he tends to make the local news (for some reason known as a patsy). So, Soon-To-Be-Mountie cousin is the favourite because Gran worked at the police station for many years past the standard retirement age and adores men in uniform. These include the American president. Not sure if she likes Obama yet. I'll find out this summer. Dubya is her favourite. If we could somehow connect his blood to ours, well that would be GOOLLLDDD! I'm not the golden child because I refuse to put on a uniform. However, I would like to point out that I am the only grandchild to graduate from University yet. And I am the oldest granddaughter. That should account for something. We all fight for our spot in her heart as an on-going joke because Gran has lots of room in her heart. She's housed more than her share of strangers, helped old men get back on their feet, given "stuff" to those who need it and those who don't, and, heck, her freezer has even been a free-for-all for some of the more famous locals who went on a drunken steak-stealing escapade. Gran deserves a round of applause for raising 7 children plus 2 more who were not in her own gene pool. She put up with a lot in her life and has seen more disgusting things as a matron at the local jail than I ever will in my whole life. So, when we watch our loved ones around us come and go and we manage to keep it all together, we deserve a round of applause. Namaste Gran. I love you even if you do love Dubya.

signed, the willow

My Robot

In darkness there is light and in light there is darkness. And in the middle of nowhere there is a big black squirrel ready to jump on your head and go for a ride.

It has been a struggle these past few weeks. We've been finding the light in the darkness, but I can't figure out how the darkness manages to sneak in during the light? It's perplexing to be a parent, to say the least. I look at her little smile in this picture and I want that look all the time, every day. Reality says "it will never happen, she's a human being". Shut up REALITY! Hence the reason I love reality tv shows like this one. I never thought I'd say this, but why can't I be a little more of a good mother like Tori Spelling and a little less of badmothersanonymous.

signed, the willow

Shove it back in there

Today I suggested to *Mila* that I would like a baby. She screamed at the top of her lungs, "NOOOOOO!!!!! Then if you kept it and it fell out I would make you shove it back in there."

So, on another note we are watching the natural degredation of this art installation at the RBG (that's Royal Botanical Gardens) as it sinks back into the earth, water and molecules from whence it came. I love the heart shape that tells me the artist has a heart of green...nature green that is.

On an additional botanical note, take note of the branches, fruits and flowers at Nettleton Hollow.

signed, the willow

Bags, Balls, Brains and X

I know what you are thinking. Now my poor mother is really worried about the ads that will appear on my blog.

So, tell me if you can figure this out. It is a form of Balance, Activity and vision. Oh, and exercise. Meant to improve brain organization and cognitive learning. Sounds like I could use some.

Bal A Vis X
Bags, Balls & Brains

signed, the willow

'I love the part when Snoopy sexed up his dog house'

That's right. Snoopy sexed up his dog house. I think in the 1970s, they let us watch the occasional movie or tv show in school because it was GOOD for our developing teeny minds. My brother was fortunate enough to watch Charlie Brown's Christmas at school (I'm guessing since we had only CBC) and then was told by the teacher to draw a picture as well as describe it. So there is Snoopy, 'his sexed up' dog house with the phrase above. I'm sorry, it still makes me giggle.

Snoopy and his offspring in the dog house

So now, *Steve* sexed up my kitchen and I think I finally understand what my brother was trying to say. He was right. There's decorating and renos and then there is 'sexing it up'. "Oh boy, what kind of ads will appear on her blog now?", my mother is currently asking herself.

signed, the willow aka Snoopy's Bitch

Born at the Wrong Time?

Sometimes people find themselves attached to an era. Maybe they belonged there? Maybe they long to go back? Every morning at *Mila*'s school I meet up with a mother who feels the urge to jump into the '60s. Likely she was born then. I don't know what it is, but I too have this affinity to be a Flapper girl in the Roaring '20s. If I was there, I was having the ultimate youth. My fringed clothes and my cropped hair, my boyish figure and my curiosity for the night life. I feel as though I were there. I really feel it in my knee-knocking rebellious bones. My haircut becomes more like that of a Flapper, and I long for the boyish figure I'll never have. So instead, I covet things like this.

signed, the willow

Canned Laughter

I thought that after all that Jeopardy I watched while baking *Mila* in the womb would have warded off the evils of bad television. In fact, I chose Mozart instead of Strauss for soothing lullabies at night when she rocked in my arms at bedtime. So, tonight I succumbed to some corny tv. I thought it was about time she was introduced to the likes of 'Hannah Montana'. I'd tried her before with the show. We realized that some of it was over her head, but we tested her four-year-old brain for another few spells of canned laughter. She couldn't stand it. "What is this? Can we watch a different show? It's not even funny!" MuchMusic thankfully plays old episodes of "The Simple Life" with Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton. As they struggled with a vacuum cleaner sucking up the ashes of someone's loved one at the crematorium, *Mila* poured these words from her lips: "I love this show. These girls are soooo funny!" Yes, the 'Lucy & Ethel' of her generation; Paris & Nicole.

signed, the willow

A Poppy for your Thoughts

We are closing the day that we mark as Remembrance Day in Canada. To mark the event, we wear a red poppy on our lapels. A simple reminder of those who have fought for our freedom. And we really do take our freedom for granted.

But who is the whack job who goes and steals the poppy money boxes?

Or how about finding the pin, that holds the poppy to your shirt, in your lobster bisque?

signed, the willow

I swear to GAWD, I cannot buy black tights

No matter how hard I try I cannot find the appropriate black tights for *Mila*. I bought one pair that was too small. Then I bought another, that I was pleasantly surprised with at first, that were made of bamboo - they ripped on the first wear and were beyond repair. Now I bought a two pack, sizes 4-7. The sizing was odd, but nonetheless, I thought "What a range! These will fit." Alas, they were made of steel and did not stretch! Help me! I need to find black tights that fit!

On another note, cute snowflake patterns to cut out: Marcel (the kid) and his Kid Craft Website!Blimey, this kid is making loads of cash from his website and blog.

signed, the willow

Why I really did die and go to kitchen

Oy Vay! You know the IKEA commercial where the woman shows off her newly reno'd home and all the rooms have been made into kitchens. Hello! I think I am that lady. However, my kitchens are all dismantled, unpacked and being massacred by my husband with MDF and a chisel. (Tip to all you newlyweds out there: Stay clear of your mate when he/she is carving out a hinge-shaped hole in your cupboards with one of the several chisels from his prized chisel collection)

Welcome to my house, er, I mean kitchen.

We will not be lounging in the living room. No, it is now the overflow of my cupboards.

Sorry, can't eat in the kitchen. My husband is busy chiseling.

We can hang out in the laundry room. You can take the pony for a ride or hide in the old cabinets.

signed, the willow lost in her kitchens

In this sick and twisted world

This is not a story about a sick and twisted tree. It's a story about how our world is sick and twisted. We've found ways to excuse our own personal short comings, our debt, our cravings for plastic crap and synthetic foods. We find ourselves less and less like humans and more and more like robots. We elect leaders that destroy other countries over greed for a substance that curdles like blood beneath the surface of our earth. Our world is rich with resources and yet poor at the same time. Our waters are clear and clean, in fact, quite commercial. On the opposite side of our earth the waters are muddy, murky, filled with festering germs and inadequacies.

In 1996, what were you doing? Were you graduating from high school? University? Starting your family? Sending your children off to University? Whatever it may have been, it probably revolved around school in some aspect. That same year a 15 year old young man, named Craig Keilburger, visited a group of children in India that did not attend school. These children worked. They sorted out the plastic parts of needles that were used by hospitals and drug addicts. A little girl sits on a dirty ground, dressed in rags and she is touching these needles with her bare hands. Surely, she has been pricked more than once. Can you imagine this? No way on earth would I EVER let my little girl sit on the bare ground in rags, let alone touch used hypodermic needles!!!! She is sifting through them and pulling them apart for the plastic. Her only defence from the viruses that will attack her is that she will be able to wash her hands. In that same muddy water that turns our stomachs, no doubt. Craig founded Free The Children, a group of children helping children around our world by removing child labour from our geography.

This is where Me To We comes in. Go and investigate. Do your part.

Right now I hear a couple of Bratz dolls, in the room next to me, arguing over who is wearing which shoes and if they can interchange their feet!! Another reason to stop the commercialism of the world. In the real world, do starving children imagine over-primped and over botoxed dolls that can change feet with their friends? I don't think so.

And don't forget: "Be the Change you want to see in the world." I'm going to start my change down the hall, now.

signed, the willow

Feed the Birds, Tuppence a Bag

We went on a little hike today (without Suma - for our sanity). We fed some chickadees. Look, they are waiting in line!

*Mila* wasn't too sure about letting them land on her hand. Believe me, neither was I! I'm petrified of birds and their cousins, the dinosaurs. But I used the inspiring trait of the week (courage) to inspire her to do the same.

We watched some salmon spawn or flail around and bash their bodies on the stream bed. And I hate hearing my voice. I sound like some kind of "old lady meets little kid and steals her voice".

And then we met this dude under the bridge. I can't help but love him.

signed, the willow

Sorry, We're Closed

*Steve*": "see, they're closed. We can't go in"

*Mila*: "But, Daddy! I have to go to the bathroom."

*Steve*: "Why the HELL are they closed every time we come here?"

*Mila*: "Don't say HELL!"

*Steve*: "We come here once a year and they are always closed."

*Me*: "Do you hear yourself? What do you expect this little town of White River to stay open for you to waltz in and browse the maps while your kid uses their washroom?"

*Steve*: "Of course. I expect them to be here past 6 p.m. every year so that I can have my picture taken with Winnie the Pooh and let my kid flush the toilets. Just take her to A&W would ya?"

*Me*: "Sure, but I'm getting onion rings then."

*Steve*: "I don't care. Just take her to the bathroom before she pisses her pants."

*Mila*: "Don't say that 'p' word, Daddy!"


signed, the willow

Resist the temptation to GRAPH things, Willow

(Data source: CNNpolitics.com)

I can't resist a good chart. 95% of African American votes went to Obama. That has to be history right there. Has any group of people voted so similarly?

signed, the willow

Halloween II

Polkadot pumpkin

*Mila* lost interest at this point with "scratchy face".

Her first carving experience - and purple painting of the pumpkin? What can I say, she's a 4-year-old girl. All must be purple in this world. Well, I did the carving and she drew the face. That's her little orange dude too. She painted him orange.

My "ARRRRGH MATEY" pirate pumpkin. He has an earring. It's a pirate, OKAY!?!?!?

And certainly, last but not least.....*STEVE* in my Brit Spears wig.

Had I known he was willing to do this, I would have punched up those eyebrows with a little magenta!

signed, the willow

Halloween Part 1

This is *Mila* getting ready for her school party and the carving of the pumpkin the night before. When are these darn cameras going to be wireless, for downloading?

signed, the willow