Girls You Don't Want In Your House

While my life is currently interrupting my blog time, I have to be brief.

Here are some girls you don't want in your house.

Take her for example. She left the house with her sleeve uncoloured. And her hand is spilling out of itself. Also, I'd be a little unsure about whether that is red lipstick or not. Don't even get me started on her boots!

Oh sure! Invite her in why don't you. Miss Thing with her multi-coloured do and her uncoloured body no less. No thank you!

This one here. We have names for girls that wear their hair outside of the lines. Also, that pool she was swimming in must have been awfully cold. Check out HER lip colour.

She may seem harmless and one of the Polly Pocket gang. With that twinkle in her eye. But does this young lass sport purple chest hair? Uh, yeah! Stay away. Lady boy is what she's known as.

These two with their cute little outfits and their rainbow hair. Seem completely innocent until you realize that they are colouring book vampires. No normal colouring book girls wander around in broad daylight this uncoloured.

Now this one here is no vampire. But she lives next door to dot-to-dot girl and she's trying to pretend she's harmless by letting the butterfly land on her hand. Until she chomps it into tiny pieces.

Faux tan and swirly backgrounds? This spells trouble with a capital T. She's smart and cunning this one. One minute she's in your house stealing your husband and the next minute you are left with all her swirls and fake tan on your floor. Yuck!

Now normally I would say that this one is a nice girl. But upon closer inspection I see that she has painted her fingernails. Except she has no fingernails and she has simply painted her hands to look that way. Like an old Granny who is missing a toenail, she just paints it on.

PETA alert. They will try to convince you that the fur they are wearing is polyester and no colouring book animals were harmed in any way to make their hats and vests. Then why do they stink of hamburgers and have blood dripping from their lips. Carnivores!

Again. Shall I call PETA on this one too?

A list of their names. Either my 5 year old daughter watches too much America's Next Top Model to hear these made up names or she's the original inventor of made up names. Please do not find your child's name on this list (with the exception of Alexis, Jane, Emma and I'll throw in Alena and Janit too):

Bureter

Rondelea

Corel (not as in the software),

Jrakiclfosel,

Mutoonya,

Alexis,

Janit (not the everyday variety with an "E"),

Jane,

Korcy,

Jnesa,

Amey,

Emma,

Kashdine,

Alena,

Patride,

Afeky.




signed, the willow