This week, we went to IKEA for our necessary shopping (ahem! LUNs are necessary) and when we stopped off for a hot dog, our lesson this week would begin. So, as *Mila* reached in the fridge behind us for an apple juice...this very large (non-Swedish) woman bonked her in the head with her extremely rude ass, while she walked right in front of us and stood by the cashier. This woman was not only budding in front of me and *Mila*, but the lady with her son behind us. I couldn't stand it. I've been working hard on teaching her to take her turn and this woman just cut us off! We were standing there waiting patiently for our turn and she was now going to take it away from us. Nuh-huh! Gulp, I swallowed and then she turned to us and said "Oh, I suppose it was your turn before me. Go ahead. Go ahead. You were obviously here before me."
"Um, yes and the lady behind us was here before you as well." I said. I think I saw my life flash before my eyes when I spoke to this large Amazonian.
She didn't reply. She just stared at me blankly. She really did cut us off on purpose with the intent of taking our turn.
So I said it again "The lady behind me was here before you as well."
"Oh, I know that", she uttered in her man-voice. "Life is too short to worry about cutting people off in line."
WHAT THE HELL? Was she speaking of herself or of me? She was the one cutting people off. What is going on? Is this the upside down version of the world I once belonged in?
"Well", I snickered, "I suppose I am the Line Nazi, aren't I?"
She completely ignored my comment. I suppose it wasn't politically correct, nor in her conversational English. She now began to talk to herself, "I hope I can make it to Waterdown in just 12 minutes. Maybe I should just skip the hot dogs all together." I wanted to glare her down at this point. We came down from Waterdown and if she expects to drive back up that hill in under 12 minutes, I'd hate to be the car in front of her....she now will be the tailgater that I love to hate.
Unfortunately, the lady behind me didn't know the history behind the hot dog line fight and let the Amazonian go in front of her! OH MAN! No lady, you aren't supposed to let her go first. So the Amazonian now took 19 hot dogs with her to the condiment kiosk and started to squirt ketchup and mustard all over IKEA (Keeping IKEA clean keeps the prices low, hello!).
Did I mention that I think this woman came from what I like to call "The Land of the Dull and the Ignorant"? Yes, there is such a land. And now there will be a label on my blog with such, thanks to her!
signed, the willow
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