Canned Laughter

I thought that after all that Jeopardy I watched while baking *Mila* in the womb would have warded off the evils of bad television. In fact, I chose Mozart instead of Strauss for soothing lullabies at night when she rocked in my arms at bedtime. So, tonight I succumbed to some corny tv. I thought it was about time she was introduced to the likes of 'Hannah Montana'. I'd tried her before with the show. We realized that some of it was over her head, but we tested her four-year-old brain for another few spells of canned laughter. She couldn't stand it. "What is this? Can we watch a different show? It's not even funny!" MuchMusic thankfully plays old episodes of "The Simple Life" with Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton. As they struggled with a vacuum cleaner sucking up the ashes of someone's loved one at the crematorium, *Mila* poured these words from her lips: "I love this show. These girls are soooo funny!" Yes, the 'Lucy & Ethel' of her generation; Paris & Nicole.

signed, the willow

A Poppy for your Thoughts

We are closing the day that we mark as Remembrance Day in Canada. To mark the event, we wear a red poppy on our lapels. A simple reminder of those who have fought for our freedom. And we really do take our freedom for granted.

But who is the whack job who goes and steals the poppy money boxes?

Or how about finding the pin, that holds the poppy to your shirt, in your lobster bisque?

signed, the willow

I swear to GAWD, I cannot buy black tights

No matter how hard I try I cannot find the appropriate black tights for *Mila*. I bought one pair that was too small. Then I bought another, that I was pleasantly surprised with at first, that were made of bamboo - they ripped on the first wear and were beyond repair. Now I bought a two pack, sizes 4-7. The sizing was odd, but nonetheless, I thought "What a range! These will fit." Alas, they were made of steel and did not stretch! Help me! I need to find black tights that fit!

On another note, cute snowflake patterns to cut out: Marcel (the kid) and his Kid Craft Website!Blimey, this kid is making loads of cash from his website and blog.

signed, the willow

Why I really did die and go to kitchen

Oy Vay! You know the IKEA commercial where the woman shows off her newly reno'd home and all the rooms have been made into kitchens. Hello! I think I am that lady. However, my kitchens are all dismantled, unpacked and being massacred by my husband with MDF and a chisel. (Tip to all you newlyweds out there: Stay clear of your mate when he/she is carving out a hinge-shaped hole in your cupboards with one of the several chisels from his prized chisel collection)

Welcome to my house, er, I mean kitchen.

We will not be lounging in the living room. No, it is now the overflow of my cupboards.

Sorry, can't eat in the kitchen. My husband is busy chiseling.

We can hang out in the laundry room. You can take the pony for a ride or hide in the old cabinets.

signed, the willow lost in her kitchens

In this sick and twisted world

This is not a story about a sick and twisted tree. It's a story about how our world is sick and twisted. We've found ways to excuse our own personal short comings, our debt, our cravings for plastic crap and synthetic foods. We find ourselves less and less like humans and more and more like robots. We elect leaders that destroy other countries over greed for a substance that curdles like blood beneath the surface of our earth. Our world is rich with resources and yet poor at the same time. Our waters are clear and clean, in fact, quite commercial. On the opposite side of our earth the waters are muddy, murky, filled with festering germs and inadequacies.

In 1996, what were you doing? Were you graduating from high school? University? Starting your family? Sending your children off to University? Whatever it may have been, it probably revolved around school in some aspect. That same year a 15 year old young man, named Craig Keilburger, visited a group of children in India that did not attend school. These children worked. They sorted out the plastic parts of needles that were used by hospitals and drug addicts. A little girl sits on a dirty ground, dressed in rags and she is touching these needles with her bare hands. Surely, she has been pricked more than once. Can you imagine this? No way on earth would I EVER let my little girl sit on the bare ground in rags, let alone touch used hypodermic needles!!!! She is sifting through them and pulling them apart for the plastic. Her only defence from the viruses that will attack her is that she will be able to wash her hands. In that same muddy water that turns our stomachs, no doubt. Craig founded Free The Children, a group of children helping children around our world by removing child labour from our geography.

This is where Me To We comes in. Go and investigate. Do your part.

Right now I hear a couple of Bratz dolls, in the room next to me, arguing over who is wearing which shoes and if they can interchange their feet!! Another reason to stop the commercialism of the world. In the real world, do starving children imagine over-primped and over botoxed dolls that can change feet with their friends? I don't think so.

And don't forget: "Be the Change you want to see in the world." I'm going to start my change down the hall, now.

signed, the willow

Feed the Birds, Tuppence a Bag

We went on a little hike today (without Suma - for our sanity). We fed some chickadees. Look, they are waiting in line!

*Mila* wasn't too sure about letting them land on her hand. Believe me, neither was I! I'm petrified of birds and their cousins, the dinosaurs. But I used the inspiring trait of the week (courage) to inspire her to do the same.

We watched some salmon spawn or flail around and bash their bodies on the stream bed. And I hate hearing my voice. I sound like some kind of "old lady meets little kid and steals her voice".

And then we met this dude under the bridge. I can't help but love him.

signed, the willow

Sorry, We're Closed

*Steve*": "see, they're closed. We can't go in"

*Mila*: "But, Daddy! I have to go to the bathroom."

*Steve*: "Why the HELL are they closed every time we come here?"

*Mila*: "Don't say HELL!"

*Steve*: "We come here once a year and they are always closed."

*Me*: "Do you hear yourself? What do you expect this little town of White River to stay open for you to waltz in and browse the maps while your kid uses their washroom?"

*Steve*: "Of course. I expect them to be here past 6 p.m. every year so that I can have my picture taken with Winnie the Pooh and let my kid flush the toilets. Just take her to A&W would ya?"

*Me*: "Sure, but I'm getting onion rings then."

*Steve*: "I don't care. Just take her to the bathroom before she pisses her pants."

*Mila*: "Don't say that 'p' word, Daddy!"


signed, the willow

Resist the temptation to GRAPH things, Willow

(Data source: CNNpolitics.com)

I can't resist a good chart. 95% of African American votes went to Obama. That has to be history right there. Has any group of people voted so similarly?

signed, the willow

Halloween II

Polkadot pumpkin

*Mila* lost interest at this point with "scratchy face".

Her first carving experience - and purple painting of the pumpkin? What can I say, she's a 4-year-old girl. All must be purple in this world. Well, I did the carving and she drew the face. That's her little orange dude too. She painted him orange.

My "ARRRRGH MATEY" pirate pumpkin. He has an earring. It's a pirate, OKAY!?!?!?

And certainly, last but not least.....*STEVE* in my Brit Spears wig.

Had I known he was willing to do this, I would have punched up those eyebrows with a little magenta!

signed, the willow

Halloween Part 1

This is *Mila* getting ready for her school party and the carving of the pumpkin the night before. When are these darn cameras going to be wireless, for downloading?

signed, the willow