You'd think we threw out her teddy bear

Lands sakes and mercy me! I've been in crazy panic clean up mode today. My brother called to say they were coming on the weekend and I know I shouldn't have a freak out, but I still do. If my worst enemy was coming over, I'd stil scrub the toilets. Anyhow, so I placed (and I repeat the word "placed" here again for all of the internet to see) a very large self portrait from art school out in the garage. I meant to bring it back in on Monday and hang it up in the office. But for now, it needed to get out of the way. As does the giant tv box in the living room. I heard the garage door open and then "RREEEEEEEEEEEEEE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" Thump! Thump! "REEEEERRRRRREEEEEEE!!!!" What the hell is going on? I go down and there is *Mila* wailing like she's at the Wailing Wall at Christmas time wailing. Her Dad put the self portrait in the blue box! Oh boy, do I ever have to be on the top of everything at all times. Dig out the self portrait and uncrumple it. Fire extinguished.

Earlier in the day the first scream was let out. *Mila* fed her morning hot dog to the dog. And of course the dog took it, bun and all. Why *Mila* asks for meat-based products and then turns her nose up at them when they are cooked and says "I'm sorry Mom, I can't eat that nugget, I'm a vegetarian." Okay. I can respect that better than a carnivorous parent could. But, she asked for the meat and then suddenly converts back into being a veggie when it comes out. Maybe Pam Anderson could help me out with a PETA video or two and settle this once and for all. Then, at least she wouldn't ask for it and I wouldn't have to cook it and throw it out. So, the dog eats the hot dog and 4 milk bone treats, a couple slices of marble cheese and then we take her for an afternoon walk and get her to catch hunks of ice in her mouth. She eats the ice and then Ralphie Ralpherson ralphs all over town. *Mila* is screaming at the park. "I want to go home right now. Right now. I'm scared! Suma's barfing! I want to go home RIGHT NOW!!!!" Calm down, it's just steamy hot foaming bile and hunks of regurgitated hot dog.

signed, the willow