Bears Who Make Friends with Baby Chicks

What is happening to my brain?

sighed the willow

D.D. this year in the Barbie Corvette

Meet Emma, your driver for this holiday season. She's been kind enough to stay sober long enough to take the Barbies out this holiday season on more than one occasion. She'll be easily recognized when you see the pink Corvette pull up with candy canes strewn on the rear view mirrors. Buckle up and remember, stay off the road if you've decided to dip into the wobbly pops. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for the children or quite obviously: your own child.

signed, the willow taking a ride from Emma.

Port Wine Cheese Spread

Just the recipe today and no photo of the finished product. Obviously I'm all out of port wine.

Port Wine Cheese Spread

1/2 cup port wine
1 pound sharp aged cheddar cheese, grated
1 cup sour cream
1/4 cup butter, melted
1 tsp salt
1/8 tsp cayenne

Combine wine and butter in a bowl. Set aside. In a blender/food processor blend cheese, sour cream, salt and cayenne. Gradually add in wine and butter. Process until smooth. Store in airtight containers. Refrigerate for a day and then spread it on a Triscuit or something cracker-like.

signed, the willow

A Jolasveinar Village

Inspired by *even cleveland's* rendition, I decided to try my hand at these little troll houses. These are six of the first batch I tried last night. I need a better hole punch and a husband who doesn't stand over top of me and direct me "Did you want to see a better way to do that?" OMG! This is a craft, there is no deadline. Then he wanted to know why I was making them. Like I need to justify my home decor for the holidays? (No wonder why I dreamt of his elaborate scheme to foil my decorating by hiring a TEAM of experts to re-do our mansion. Yes, mansion?!) It was somehow like living with two 4-year-olds. "Go watch Bugs Bunny, *Steve*! Oh, and it's a hair-washing night." These are the evil things that pour from my mouth when I've heard enough sass! Reminder: *Steve* lacks follicles on top.

If you would like to see where the Huldufolk live, well that's a WHOLE other story.

signed, the willow

Miss Willow, What do you do with your time?

Well, my special Internet friend, let me tell you what I do with my time. On an average Saturday morning, I sleep in until 6 am. That's right, I sleep in until 6. Here is the rest of my family with the exception of the dog.

They sleep in until 8:45 or later. The dog uses Saturdays as her excuse to sleep in and then stay up really late and insist on going out for a major bark-fest at midnight. Maybe that's not late for you, Internet friend, but it is for this sappy old willow.

Sometimes, I start to get inspired by a little Billy Goats Gruff and I start a little triptych for a boy, for a change.

Maybe I take a little glamour and glitter up some balsa wood. Loving this pink glittery snowflake. It is taking another dip in the vat of glitter this weekend!

On occasion, I cut and cut out stars or snowmen snowflakes and call it time well spent with scissors and paper.

I might daydream about painting this little puppy. Of course, it belongs to someone who is 4 and will take me down if I dare scribble a brushstroke on it.

What can I tie up with these loveys?

signed, the willow and her wasted time

Gleðileg Jól

I'm very sorry that he wasn't more excited about Christmas this year....click here to hear it.

signed, the willow

Die-A-Bettys

Overheard on the loud speaker in a local store last month:

"Attention valued shoppers, we have a nurse here to check you out to see if you have 'die-a-(long pause goes here)-betties'. If you or someone you love suffers from 'die-a-betties' then you can come on by and have your blood sugar tested for 'die-a-betties'."

Someone forgot to tell this announcer to put the proper em-PHA-sis on the proper syll-A-bles.

signed, the willow

Leif Eriksson Brought us Over

A special birthday wish to the man walking towards the Mayflower.

You came to us on a boat. Scratch that. That's so not true. Maybe your ancestors came on a boat. Not that boat. This ancestor:

But they were scared off by the locals (not these two locals - they're yocals) and came back a few hundred years later. Ahem. 800 years later.

Your taste in spectacles has always been spectacular.

And when you weren't busy planning the financial future of many other people's lives, you were there for me.

And her too. Thanks Dad! We all love you so much. Happy Birthday.


signed, the willow

Forty Years Ago Today

Once upon a time there was a sad, lonely and slightly paranoid Gingerbread Man. His clothes were tattered and covered in ink. I think he did a lot of bookwork.

Then one fine sunny day, the Gingerbread Man went to see his friend Minnie. Minnie introduced him to a lovely Gingerbread Lady. She was pretty and her eyes were looking the same direction as his, so he knew it had to be love!

They ran away to a local polkadotted church and were married on a Monday...because it was Grey Cup weekend and the Blue Bombers were playing. No, it wasn't the Gingerbread Man who changed the date, it was his grandmother.

All our love Gingerbread Couple on your 40th Anniversary!

signed, the Gingerbread Couple's Number One Daughter

When Bad Luck Schmedlap Comes to Visit

When the morning starts off a little like today did, you start to believe in the Huldufolk.

Waking up at 5:30 am on Mondays is enough to make most people I know cringe. But, it began with the morning ritual of visiting the washroom before pouring a coffee. "What?! No toilet paper? Seems to me there was toilet paper at 3 am, when I was in here last. Oh, I've seen this little culprit before, the toilet paper thief. The one who takes the very last 24 sheets of toilet paper and throws them in the trash. And I do mean the last 24 sheets of the entire house."

5:34 am: Pour the cream into the coffee and return it to the fridge. Not until you drop it on the floor and coat your black cupboards with white cream first! Yes, it is the 'cream tripper'.

So, after a 4 mile run, a sleepyhead that needed to be awakened and a lazy dog that doesn't like the 4 inches of slush in the backyard, I am met with a wiper blade that cracks off of the car and is stuck to the confines of my pink glove. How does this happen? Can't drive in this muck all the way to school - it's a 15 minute drive over the armpit of Lake Ontario. Call the school and tell them "We probably won't be there."

Enough said. I'm not trying to say I had a bad day. We started our morning off with what is known as a "Bad Luck Schmedlap" day.

While we let teddy bear Emma roast plastic marshmallows over a fire made from Tinkertoys, let's review that gingerbread recipe that is chilling in the fridge:

8 tablespoons of margarine

1/2 cup brown sugar (the firmly packed variety)

1/2 cup molasses

1 egg

2 1/2 cups flour

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

1 tbsp powdered ginger

1 tsp cinnamon

1 tsp nutmeg

1. In a large mixing bowl, cream margarine and sugar. Beat in egg and the molasses.

2. In a separate bowl, sift together the dry ingredients. Add the dry ingredients to the margarine mixture. When completely combined cover and refrigerate for an hour.

3. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees and grease those cookie sheets, cool cat.

4. Roll your dough to 1/4 inch thick. Cut with cookie cutters or to the specifications of your blueprints. Bake for about 7 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool.

5. Decorate with icing, gumdrops and sprinkles OR glue your "Hansel and Gretel Trap" together with loads of gooey icing and delicious treats! Enjoy my pretties.

signed, the schmedlap/er, I mean willow