Dear China, Please stop making costumes and wigs

Barbie Mariposa has been living with us now for 3 days. It has involved carefully looking after her wings, wand, tattoos, wig and attitude. China, please stop making costumes so readily available. It requires us North Americans to consume more and more. I asked *Mila* if I could please MAKE her a costume and she looked at me with disgust "NO! I want to BUY one. They're so much prettier." I suppose my pre-conceived idea of Pippi Longstocking with mismatched striped tights and patches on a t-shirt with a sock monkey pinned to her shoulder was not "beautiful enough". Take me away, Calgon!

signed, the willow (Pippi fan forever)

Words Found on my Fridge

OOO-EEEE-OOO-AAAH-AAAH
TING TANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG

OOO-EEEE-OOO-AAAH-AAAH
TING TANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG

It is a requirement in our family to learn the words to "I Told the Witch Doctor" by Alvin & The Chipmunks.

signed, the willow

Explain to me

Explain to me why on earth manufacturers of hooded sweatshirts would dare to make this, sell it and worse yet allow *Steve* the opportunity to buy it?

And why is it that we go blueberry picking and then golf clubs come along for the ride?

The answer is MEN!

signed, the willow

In a Fast World

In a fast world, sometimes I just spin too fast and then I fall off.

It's been hard learning how to go to JK. You see, I never went. There was no such thing and in some ways I can see why, in other ways I can't see why not.

Balancing acts are required and I have to remember to eat, drink and walk the dog. Sometimes we have to slack off and say "Hey, let's go to McDonalds" or pick out our dinner from the frozen food aisle or let our clothes get dirty. Living in a cookie cutter suburban neighbourhood and pretending that "you have it all together when you in fact do not" is very intimidating.

I have a feeling that times will be getting busier and busier for me from here on in.

signed, the willow

The Craft of Being Earnest

The Craft of Going to Kindergarten.
by *Mila*'s mom, Willow

Step One, get in car and resist parents to bring you to the school of their choice (no less).

Step Two: Look around and scope out all backpacks. Be wary of everyone and everyone. They are going to eat you for lunch and down your iced tea at snack time.

Step Three: Feign weak and pretend that your backpack is so heavy since your parents loaded it with bricks that you will carry in that darn polyester hunk on your back for the entire 10 months of school. When they see how weak you are, they will immediately rush you back to the car and give you cold milk and your favourite teddy bear, Emma.

Step Four: Hold on tight to your mom's hand. When she tries to let go, bite her and dig your heels deep into her shins in as she shoves you through the door past the spikes and burning hoops. She is sending you off to be tortured and you will never see her again. Don't let her cheesy grin and sleepy eyes fool you.

Step Five: When your parents actually do show up at 11:20 to get you, try to be ecstatic for their sake. Tell them all the stuff you did was fun and that you used the bathroom and ate the snails, I mean snack. When you find out that the car was moved, you'll know that they did not stay where you told them to. See, they really do useless things, like go to Timmy's, while you are at school.

Step Six: Celebrate later that night by screaming "KINDERGARTEN ROCKS" throughout the neighbourhood whilst strumming your tissue box guitar.

We love you baby. You did great today and yes, Kindergarten does rock!

signed, the willow (Kindergarten Rockstar's Mom)

Story Time

Last night as *Steve* made some raucous changing into his pajamas and jumped onto the bed, nearly landing me down the hallway, I began to sob. Not aimless or random sobbing. "I'm losing my little baby. *Mila* is starting school this week and I don't want her to grow up." I have been to Crazytown many times and I know that I do have some irrational exuberance issues, but to sob over something so legitimate and honest was new to me. It wasn't a want or disappointment. I was genuinely sad. She's my baby and she's entering the world with big kids. I am trying to remain stoic and strong to her and comfort her at the same time, telling her how she'll have fun playing with new friends. Deep down I know she will. I wish I could have one ounce of the fun she's about to embark upon. And she's still only 4 and she's my baby. She will cry, scream and kick tomorrow morning when we drop her off. That's one of my biggest worries. But my biggest worry of all is her entering this world. It's a world of uncertainty more so than ever. It's her world too and I have to let her show it a thing or two.

signed, the willow

My Pet Rocks

The summer was short for everyone this year. I won't try to lay claim to our summer being shorter than your summer, or your aunt's summer. It just wouldn't be right. We all had a short summer. And these rocks are the living proof. When it is raining for days on end and the sun almost never shines, the water is too cold for swimming, the water is too high for swimming and the mosquitoes almost never stop biting!

We thought about fall leaves. I think that my mother painted this one. Doesn't look my leaf venation. The botanist in me gets far too technical. I love the white dots of paint that seem to hint at snow as well!

I became obsessed with trapping cartoon marine life inside of jars. It would seem fitting that formaldehyde stinks up the labs of high school students instead and these fictional creatures were humanely trapped inside with grins and googly eyes.

Let's not forget some of our favourite family quotes:

• Stop your whining
• A stripe by any other name
• Lucky Duck (once misheard by my mother when my niece asked for Cookie Dough ice cream)

My favourite rock and least favourite picture. "Come drink the stars" inspired by the multitude of stars that Northwestern Ontario can offer like no other place on this planet. The serenity of these heavens is unparalleled by any other locale south of it. The Red Hot Chili Peppers can take partial credit for the inspiration for these words as well, from their song "Road Trippin".

One more thing, Girl Effect dot org. Please check it out.

signed, the willow

Yo! You been lookin' faw me?

I have been on a blogging holiday. It has lasted over 3.5 weeks and has been luxuriously spent on the shore of Pelican Lake, driving home to my abode and listening to the gushing drips of a broken toilet in Owen Sound.

I won't bore you with the grim details of the toilet scenario in Owen Sound. I will just tell you that no matter which motel/hotel we choose after we step off the Chi-Cheemaun it includes insect life or dilapidated bed with cracked toilets. We will find a winner next year - I promise!

*Mila* is preparing to enter her first year of many in the confines of a classroom. I hope that we have chosen her a suitable school and that the adjustment will come easy to her. Worry is my middle name and I have sensed that *Steve* too is now losing many nights of sleep tossing over who will be more emotional: *Mila* or I?

Appetites have seemed to dwindle around here lately. But I dug this one out of the archives and decided to give it a spin last night:

Mexican Corn Bake

1 tbsp olive oil

2 crushed to oblivion garlic cloves

1 red bell pepper finely chopped

1 green bell pepper finely chopped

1 yellow bell pepper finely chopped

1 celery stalk, diced

1 tsp chili powder

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

28 oz can of chopped tomatoes

12 oz can of corn, rinsed and drained

19 oz can of kidney beans, rinsed and drained

2 tbsp chopped cilantro

salt and pepper

Topping:

1 cup cornmeal

2 tbsp flour

1 tsp salt

2 tbsp baking powder

2 eggs, beaten

1 tsp olive oil

1/4-1/2 cup milk

1 cup grated cheddar cheese

- Fry the garlic, peppers and celery for about 5 minutes in the olive oil

- Stir in chili powder, tomatoes, corn, beans, seasonings

- Boil the mixture and let simmer for 10 minutes

- Stir in cilantro and transfer to oven proof casserole dish

- For the topping, mix together the dry ingredients

- Make a well in the dry ingredients, add the egg, oil and milk (adjust to get a cake batter consistency)

- Beat until smooth

- Smooth the topping over the corn mixture and sprinkle with the cheese

- Bake in a 425 oven for 25 or 30 minutes

- Serve with cilantro sprigs immediately

signed, the willow