The next dog will have a tail that hangs down

So, I'm about to tell you a rather embarrassing story.  

Let's begin with a diagram:

The dog was hanging around mooching chips from *Mila* with her big puffy tail in front of me.  I had to get up to squeeze some more food down my gullet, so I attempted to move the dog towards the potato chips and out of my way.  

This is where you can run and grab some anti-bacterial gel.  As I leaned forward on the laptop and reached around with my right hand, my index finger was inserted directly in Suma's chocolate starfish.  Her rusty bullet hole.  The dog's brown eye.  Rusty's rusty sherriff badge.  The on-ramp for the Hershey hi-way.  

Get the picture?

And where was *Steve*? Laughing of course.  Is he the only one in the family that hasn't stuck his finger up the dog's butt?

signed, the willow