I just suck

Really. I suck. If I were making money at this I'd probably say "you suck". But I'm not and so it's me that sucks. Let me introduce you to the successful bloggers.


There's Dooce. She makes like thousands of dollars a day.


Then there's Fussy. She's so cool, she's an "org".

Her Bad Mother is sure not "her bad blogger". She's good too. Then again "Bad is the new good". She said it, not me. Did I mention she's Canadian. That's good too.

There's Three Kid Circus, Sweetney, Surrender Dorothy, I am Bossy and then there are the design blogs...


desire to inspire. Again, 1/2 Canadian, 1/2 Australian. That's so good, it's like saying it's 100% Canadian. Even better.


design sponge.


design milk.


poppytalk. Did I hear you say Canadian? Yup!

Let's not forget Dear Ada and the artsy group of globbers. Like a good idea on paper. And of course the eye for all things art deco, art deco. Kiki and Polly rock. Uppercase Gallery dot ca! Yes, again Canadian. We really have a thing going on up here in Canada. Why is not "down here" in Canada? There must be a small nation of Arctic Circle folk reading Canadian blogs. Or are they Canadian too? Gosh, I should brush up on my geography.


signed, the willow

This is the 200th time I've signed as the willow

This is my 200th post today and I'm pretty darn proud a-boot that.

See Dooce. I was so brave yesterday that I actually commented on her blog. As I typed my comment, there were 67 comments about her blog posting. By the time I posted it (which felt like a rushed 15 seconds of fame!) I was comment #104. I feel famous now. Honestly, I can't even describe it. But, does anyone really read ALL the comments on her blog? ....I'm not feeling so secure anymore.

signed, the willow

If you are looking for Kathie Lee's feet

If you are looking for Kathie Lee's feet, you won't find them here. I have probably had more hits as a result of blogging about Kathie Lee Gifford's feet than anything else. Here are her feet. I guess there are people out there who want to know how Kathie Lee managed to squeeze her giant hammer toes into a pair of 6 inch Manalo Blahnik's fine specimens. Well guess what Internet, Kathie Lee Gifford opted to have her feet operated on instead of her face (she said it, not me). I'm just thinking, if I had big ugly hammer toes I would opt out of showing them on TV. If you have enough money to have your feet "done", you probably have enough power to say "Hey, you know what...I don't want to show my big ugly toes on TV. Get a foot model. I hear that *Steve* is for hire." This is where my husband enters the room with his modelesque carpels and meta-tarsels. His life long dream of being a hand & foot model would come true.

signed, the willow

I want to be in Dooce's movie

I painted these 3 continuous canvases for our master bedroom. IKEA was kind enough to lure me into some sheets that matched the teal colour in the paintings so we could be all matchy-matchy.

Is it true? Will Dooce (aka Heather Armstrong - she really has a name) be working on a movie? Her interview last night on Nightline was proof to her dedicated internet fans that she really is cool. Some of us being "mommy bloggers" (not that any of us condone that term) and some of us the husbands of the "mommy bloggers". After watching her last night on TV, *Steve* looked at me with love in his eye (because the other eye was closed) and said "Maybe I'll quit my job too and work on your blog full time like Jon!!!!!!!!!!!!!" GRRRRR. Um, okay, like, whatever. That is sooo not going to happen. Even if I'm making the kind of dough that Heather makes. I will send you and *Mila* both off to boarding school.

signed, the willow

Not to be or to be? That's the Question.

*Mila* and I have been reading the Barefoot Book titled 'Shakespeare's Storybook: Folk Tales that Inspired the Bard'. To be completely honest with you, if you have never gotten into Shakespeare and you don't have anyone young to read to, don't fret. We took this out from our local urban library and I've been enjoying it so much that I've decided we need to own our own copy. It's Shakespeare without the "doths" and the "me thinks". What *Mila* got out of the "Ashboy" aka Hamlet story was "Not to be or to be? That's the question." that she reiterated to her dad when he arrived home.

A DOOCE FAN note: Dooce will be on ABC Nightline tonight at 11:35 pm according to her blog and the ABC website. If this was somehow misinterpreted by me I will officially take myself to the optometrist and get some damn glasses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (see Dooce's affinity for exaggerated exclamation marks) Personally, I always dreamed I would be on Letterman. I hope she doesn't get on Letterman, then my days are over of ever getting on his show for having a yodeling dog that can spit noodles from her nostrils whilst I balance on her head.

For Mother's Day I was sort of expecting the IKEA teapot that I've been hinting at for several weeks. Since it's only $9.99 I thought I'd see it stuffed into a Zellers bag on the kitchen table in the morning. But, instead when *Steve* got out of bed he whispered in *Mila's* ear the words she was supposed to utter 3 hours earlier when she woke me up from my slumber at 6:30: "Happy Mother's Day! We're going to Niagara Falls today!" I guess she was pumped to go and I have to say she kept her secret safe from me for the first time. We get there at least once a year, as it's just a short little drive for us. In fact, I think we clocked in at 40 minutes this time due to good traffic on the way there and about an hour and 45 minutes on the QEW coming home. *Mila* wasn't too interested in getting out in Niagara-On-The-Lake (which happened to be Ontario's prettiest town at one time, I believe...if you've ever been there you'll know what I'm talking about) and I can't say I blamed her as it was super busy with several of sweater-over-the-shoulder dudes. As *Steve* said "Your Dad would never live here because he doesn't tie his sweater around his shoulders." For one second of my life I actually remembered thinking how wonderful it would be if I met some guy named Brad, Chad, or Tad who would wear his preppy sweater tied over his shoulders like that. It was 1984. Okay, okay, enough of that talk. We got out and a kind young lady offered to take our picture at the Floral Clock. *Mila* and *Steve* played Hide-and-Go-Seek for 30 minutes (something she'll remember for the rest of her life.

Here is *Steve* stuffing himself between two cedars.

And here is *Steve* grabbing our four-year-old by the scruff of her neck to hold still for 10 seconds so I can take her photo.

Down the Niagara Parkway we went and we finally found a parking spot after driving thru the Clifton Hill strip 10 times and seeing what lurks on the streets behind the tourist traps. Advice to visitors who have never been to Niagara Falls before: Spend the $12 and park close to the Falls on the Parkway unless you clearly look like a thug and want to buy some illegal drugs down a back alley and only pay for the $5 spot.

There they are being blown away by the wind and *Mila* had given up eating her Dipping Dots by this point.

She must have stood there (along side another 4-year-old girl) watching this water fountain for 5 minutes until we dragged her away. We never did get to see the largest tourist trap in North America after this time-waster.

Since the weekend was all about the women of the family, today I've got a little secret recipe from our family that the men do love: BEER BREAD

You heard me right brother, BEER BREAD. It has real beer in it. Or you can add the non-alcoholic variety if you so choose. It goes great with your other BBQ fare or it always goes really really really well with pickerel if you are fortunate enough to catch some fresh from Minnitaki Lake.

2 & 3/4 cups flour

2 tbsp sugar

2 tbsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

1 tsp oregano

1 tsp thyme

1 tsp dill

1 can of beer (or bottle - you do the math)

Mix all ingredients together well, pour into a loaf pan and bake in a 375 degree oven for 45-50 minutes. Serve warm with butter.

signed, the willow

Kathie Lee's feet

Onward with my Dooce fan club obsession with catching a glimpse of her on the Today Show. This morning I tuned in to the Today Show around 10:30 am (eastern time) and again at 11:30 on the NBC High Definition channel for an even clearer chance to see Dooce. It would seem that I need glasses and misread her blog too late. You see, she was in fact on tv this Wednesday in the 10:30 segment with Kathie Lee and Hoda. But did I read that? Nope. I skipped right to the part about Kathie Lee and blah blah blah there it was the next day. But I did manage to see Kathie Lee Gifford bring her mother on the show and yap about her life for 4 hours. Then she decided to treat everyone to a segment on her misshapen feet. Man, were they ugly feet. Her and her hammer toes (she called them that, not me). I was able to catch the Dooce segment on You Tube and you can too.

For Craftable Thursday we were just hurting for ideas. Maybe the fact that we spent 2 hours at the playground did us in. Here is what we came up with.

Mix some acrylic paint with some glue. Don't forget to put on your mom's Beaver Canoe shirt from 1984. It is really from 1984. Somewhere around here I have a couple Chip & Pepper shirts too. Remember them? I remember those guys hanging out in the clubs in Winnipeg during the cold winter weekends. Okay, back to the craft.

Paint your glue-paint mixture in a pattern or design onto your paper. Initials work wonderfully.

Sprinkle some glitter on top.

Cut them out and frame them like little monograms for your office. In fact, I think I'll get *Mila* to give me some FF for FundFocus tomorrow. I love her for that, she'll do it too like my little soldier. Crafting like it's for a better good in this world.

signed, the willow

The Bloggers and their Bloggies

Heather B. Armstrong (aka dooce) is busy celebrating her daughter's fourth birthday (Which I will be doing next month + 1 day for my own daughter, not dooce's. She just had her's. Pay attention!), and then she's going to be busy with her blog awards, the Bloggies.

Yeah. Yup. Then there is me and my boring life. Let's see, we had snow. Lots of snow. Lots of snow for the 'banana belt' which equates to snowmen the size of small teddy bears and sliding on grass with patches of white. Ok, I'm exaggerating again. We got an hour of sliding in yesterday at La Salle Park and about 10 minutes in today. I later received my award/reward which was a Timmy's coffee. There is a dog snoring and twitching, yelping and crying at my feet. Next will come my non-blogging husband who has delegated me to delete his blog. "Delete your own damn blog!" I guess that's the end of his sentimental gestures blog and his sentimental gestures. I'd say "Make your own damn dinner!", but that's too fifties. "Delete your own damn blog!" fits the 21st century well.